Transcription:
The most important gift you can give to somebody, and I say this not only as a rabbi but somebody who’s experienced loss myself. I was young when my mother passed away. There is no greater gift that you can give than the gift of your presence. Just offering the words, I’m there for you if you need anything. Here’s my number. Here’s my email. You call me no matter what. It goes such a long way. Sometimes people think you want to be left alone when you have experienced a loss. It’s true, maybe there are some people who want to be left alone, but for the most part, the Jewish way, and anybody will tell you this, we don’t like leaving people alone. We smother them. We get in their face. We like to show them we’re here for them. Sometimes maybe a little too much and you have to be careful, but I feel like you’re never doing anything wrong by respectfully, compassionately offering to somebody that you are there for them and show up. If you can’t make the shiva, maybe you can make the funeral. If you can’t make the funeral, maybe you can organize a call a few weeks later. The more you’re there for somebody, the more helpful it is to them when they’ve experienced a big loss in their lives. As a rabbi, this is obviously very, very important, and I want to give families in mourning the message, don’t worry. Some people feel a sense of urgency. Oh my G-d, I’ve got to start planning. I’ve got to start doing things when a person passes away. People pass away every day, all the time. Nothing is that urgent. We’ll help you through everything. We’ll make sure that you’re not stressed. There’s a few decisions that you have to make, but it’s nothing that’s too difficult, and you won’t have to make the decision alone. That’s the biggest piece of advice I have. If you have a friend who’s experienced a loss, be there for them. That’s irreplaceable.